Yes, I'm STILL Pregnant

There is nothing more frustrating than going past your due date: every minute of the last 9 months, relies on your due date being the be all and end all of pregnancy. I'm being dramatic, but the last how many months have just been one big lie. I've hated pregnancy and made no secret of it, and the only thing that was getting me through - obviously ignoring the obvious bundle of joy at the end of the tunnel - was the 14th October. On the 14th October I'd have my baby and everything would be great. It's now the 18th, and low and behold, no baby, and no end in sight. I should be induced within the next few days if nothing happens, but thats still little comfort following the frustration you feel when your due date comes and goes and nothing happens.

At this point in time, I'm more hormonal and irrational than before, and nothing anyone says is really helping all that much. If you know someone in this situation though, I can make some very strong recommendations on what NOT to say to someone who is overdue. Believe you me, your better off saying nothing than going with anyone of these...

- 'Oh, but I thought you were due last week?'

'No Mary, you must be right, I've obviously got my date wrong if my due dates been and gone and I've not had my baby yet'. Needless to say any mention of due dates is probably not going to gage the best reaction here - I'm moody and over sensitive, don't bring up that pesky date.

- 'Have you tried a curry?'

Which curry would you recommend? Because at this point I've had spicy food every day for the last week and a half and I'm pretty sure no specific one is going to help me right now. Yes I've bloody tried a curry. Baby J loves an indian it would appear because all it's doing is keeping him inside me for longer but giving baby daddy the shits. No more curries in this house, Jordan can't handle them.

- 'Have you not had ANY contractions?'

Zilch, nada, zero. Nothing now, nothing previously. I'd never even had so much as a braxton hick, at least, not one that I had noticed. If it hadn't been for those scans I might still believe I'd just eaten a little too much last weekend... My lack of early labour signs hasn't really surprised me to be honest, I had no other signs of pregnancy, why would I start now? But still, don't ask. All it does is force me to admit once again that absolutely nothing is happening and my body is not playing ball right now.

- 'Must be annoying, I had mine a week early'

Cool, thanks for that. Yes, it is annoying, but whats more annoying is you rubbing in your lovely early delivery. I'd imagine people don't think for one second they are rubbing it in, and I know fine well that when telling me when they had their own baby that's not what they are intending on doing for a second, but I'm still going to take it that way regardless.

- 'Could be worse, I had mine two weeks late'

This is just as bad. I'm sorry, but it is. If I'm a week late now, enlightening me to the prospect of still having YET another week of pregnancy is just asking for the worst look in history. I can't and won't do another week of this - I'm impatient as it is.

- 'So, where's the baby?'

Ach popped him out over the weekend and he's tucked up with the in-laws... Where do you think the baby is?! Anyone with eyes can see I am still very blatantly obviously heavily pregnant, and your half effort of lightening my mood will not be met warmly. My baby is still very much inside of me, thank you very much.

- 'He's just too comfy in there!'

Yes, I'm a 5 star baby carrier, I'm now aware. I don't care if he's comfy or not - his time is up! No more tummy time is allowed - he's fully cooked and it's time to come out and meet us now, wee barra is ripping it.

So I hate to say it, but really, there is absolutely nothing you can say to me in this position that will help. I've found those people who have helped the most are those who have blatantly ignored my situation - yes, my baby will come when he is good and ready, but no, I'm not happy about waiting and I probably don't want your two cents on the matter. Is it obvious I'm at my wits end with pregnancy?

In the mean time, I'm off to bounce on my bloody birthing ball and stuff yet more pineapple down my neck, in any attempt to get this lazy little boy out of me. It does seem now like induction will be the way forward for me...