I always knew that having a baby wouldn't be easy, that much is obvious. I'm now entirely responsible for another person, another life, someone that relies on you for absolutely everything. How could that possibly be easy? What I didn't expect though was the change in my personality, I'm sad, I'm frustrated, I'm anxious to leave the house, and I have absolutely no motivation whatsoever, for anything. I've gone from being someone who had their life in order, who had plans and goals and who knew what they were doing, to someone who feels like they have absolutely no control over anything, but with the added pressure of having a baby to provide for. I'm not writing this because I want sympathy, I can tell you right now that I don't deserve any - I have an amazing life, an amazing child and all of my successes still to be had - I'm writing this because I'm sick of feeling sorry for myself. Having a baby is not simply a matter of milk, nappies and love. My life has been flipped on its head, and whilst it is entirely for the better, right now I'm completely lost and I'm trying to find my feet again. I love my son, and I couldn't imagine life without him now, but that doesn't mean I don't miss how easy everything once was.
